I don't wait well. I like to think that before graduate school killed my ability to sit still, that I used to be more patient......but the truth is that I probably was awful then too. I like things to be finalized, so the end of the Spring semester tends to be incredibly stressful for me. This year is no different, and in some ways it's even more stressful than usual. Getting a game plan ready for next year, trying to figure out what to do after next year (assuming everything goes according to plan with the finishing the ethno degree), waiting for the results to come back about this summer's applications (both scholarship and just acceptance), and trying desparately to get everything squared away for financial aid (both for the summer and next year).
I have a love/hate relationship with all things financial. I love the musical/professional/educational opportunities money can buy, and I hate the fact that I have very little of it with which access these opportunities. During the year I'm fine....after three years of grad school, I know how to live thriftily and still have a good time (some of my professors call it poverty mentality). During the summer it's always a gamble though, particularly this summer as I'm doing my fieldwork, presenting at the NFA, trying to attend two fabulous music workshops........and pay all my bills. Don't get me wrong, I like that I'm building my own life. I like that I support myself, even if sometimes it's a little bit of a struggle. I'm in grad school.....I'm supposed to be a bohemian......and I do all right for myself. But I guess in this summer's case, it's as much not knowing how it's all going to work out as anything else.
My flute professor once told me, "Do what you love, and the money will come."
I'm not sure I believe that, but we'll see what happens.
Peace, Love, and Tunes,