I am frustrated. I'm back on the running schedule, and today was interval training. With crappy winds yet again, it wasn't a good run. And the more I ran, the more frustrated I got.
With my inability to get anything off of my desk (ie make progress on the g**d*** thesis), with my inability to be patient while waiting to see what happens, with my inability to feel like I'm doing anything right, with my inability to be compassionate to myself or others, and on and on and on.
Usually running helps, but sometimes things get to be too much. Too much expectation, too much to do....just too much.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better training day, and I'll get some stuff done. More on the masterclass I gave this weekend later....after rehearsal and some form of chocolate.
Peace, Love, and Tunes,
Mac.
Take down a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.
(pronounced Macteera in Irish Gaelic)
Email: irishflutegrad AT gmail DOT com
From: Flat Dry Place, United States
About me: Master's Student (Ethnomusicology/classical flute), Irish Traditional Musician, Runner, Martial Artist, Aspiring Buddhist, Reader, Writer, and Occasional Knitter trying to love fearlessly, live authentically, work to make a difference, and be a positive force of change in the world.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Busy, busy, busy
Holy crap, it's busy out here.
On a happy note, my cat has come out and has decided my bed is awesome. Brigid has also decided sitting in my lap and distracting me from the computer is her job. I'm also discovering that when she dozes while I pet her, she drools just a little bit. Cats are funny creatures. :)
Been running quite a bit lately. I'm hoping to one day in the not so distant future run a marathon. But first you build back up to a 5k (which I don't really have a problem with), then the 10k, then a half-marathon, and finally up to a marathon. I'm one of those people who's not really built for running, but I like it anyway. Last year I hurt my IT band trying to up my mileage too fast (and also switching from the treadmill to the outdoor track I prefer to run on), so this year I'm going to take it easier.
I've also been doing interval training. For those of you not into torturing yourself two days a week, let me explain what interval training is. 8 minute warm-up jog, then 4 minute run at 80% of you capacity followed by 4 minute recovery jog (not quite as slow as your warm up jog), repeat the 4x4 4 times...followed by a 4 minute cool-down jog. Translate this as 8 minutes of "Gee isn't running swell." Followed by 1st 4x4 of, "This isn't as bad as I thought it was." Second 4x4, "Ok....it's not comfortable, but I can definitely do this." Third 4x4, "You've got to be kidding me....why do I want to run faster and longer?" Fourth 4x4, "F***. G**d*** piece of s***. When is this dumbass workout over?!?!" Recovery period, "Did I leave my lungs on the track?"
Mileage this week is only 7 miles, but I've got my long run on Saturday which'll probably be around 3.5 miles, but trying to avoid injury this go around (IT band injuries are hellish to get over).
What should I be doing today....writing, writing, writing. What am I actually doing? Practicing for the masterclass/concert I'm giving on Sunday and CLEANING. Washing clothes and dishes so that my house is relatively liveable. Oh...and waiting for PhD application decisions. And probably writing eventually today too. Anyway:
Peace, Love, and Tunes,
Mac.
On a happy note, my cat has come out and has decided my bed is awesome. Brigid has also decided sitting in my lap and distracting me from the computer is her job. I'm also discovering that when she dozes while I pet her, she drools just a little bit. Cats are funny creatures. :)
Been running quite a bit lately. I'm hoping to one day in the not so distant future run a marathon. But first you build back up to a 5k (which I don't really have a problem with), then the 10k, then a half-marathon, and finally up to a marathon. I'm one of those people who's not really built for running, but I like it anyway. Last year I hurt my IT band trying to up my mileage too fast (and also switching from the treadmill to the outdoor track I prefer to run on), so this year I'm going to take it easier.
I've also been doing interval training. For those of you not into torturing yourself two days a week, let me explain what interval training is. 8 minute warm-up jog, then 4 minute run at 80% of you capacity followed by 4 minute recovery jog (not quite as slow as your warm up jog), repeat the 4x4 4 times...followed by a 4 minute cool-down jog. Translate this as 8 minutes of "Gee isn't running swell." Followed by 1st 4x4 of, "This isn't as bad as I thought it was." Second 4x4, "Ok....it's not comfortable, but I can definitely do this." Third 4x4, "You've got to be kidding me....why do I want to run faster and longer?" Fourth 4x4, "F***. G**d*** piece of s***. When is this dumbass workout over?!?!" Recovery period, "Did I leave my lungs on the track?"
Mileage this week is only 7 miles, but I've got my long run on Saturday which'll probably be around 3.5 miles, but trying to avoid injury this go around (IT band injuries are hellish to get over).
What should I be doing today....writing, writing, writing. What am I actually doing? Practicing for the masterclass/concert I'm giving on Sunday and CLEANING. Washing clothes and dishes so that my house is relatively liveable. Oh...and waiting for PhD application decisions. And probably writing eventually today too. Anyway:
Peace, Love, and Tunes,
Mac.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Work hangover
So I woke up this morning at my normal 8:30-ish and had what I describe as the "work hangover." You wake up, and your head almost immediately says, "Really....you're gonna do this again." Fortunately it's a Saturday....which means I can cut myself some slack. So I turn on a DVD and do the dozing thing, which was pretty great even if I still feel out of it.
Yesterday I brought the cat home. Got her in the carrier without a scratch (even if it did take two of us). I was feeling guilty for taking her home instead of the first guy I had looked at, but I feel good about the decision because when I was signing the adoption papers and everything one of the workers said that they were amazed that she was in the carrier and getting adopted. Evidently she doesn't like any of them and they had assumed they would be at the shelter until she died. She of course is scared out of her wits right now, and once she was let out of the carrier ran directly for the bed. This has been what every cat I've ever had has done. She has, however come out because small things have been moved, and last night I woke up hearing the distinctive sound of a kitty jumping up on top of things in my room.
I thought I was going to name her Eloise (as in Abelard and), but I got her home and something in my head said, "That's not her name." So she's gonna be named Brigid.
Also went to Petsmart yesterday to get all of the pet accoutrement and I went in with the resolution to not act like a dorky pet owner. Several catnip toys, bags of treats, and a cheap scratching post later.....I have decided it's ok to be a dorky pet owner. Pictures will be up as soon as she decides I'm not gonna eat her and will come out long enough for me to take them.
Peace, Love, and Tunes,
Mac.
Yesterday I brought the cat home. Got her in the carrier without a scratch (even if it did take two of us). I was feeling guilty for taking her home instead of the first guy I had looked at, but I feel good about the decision because when I was signing the adoption papers and everything one of the workers said that they were amazed that she was in the carrier and getting adopted. Evidently she doesn't like any of them and they had assumed they would be at the shelter until she died. She of course is scared out of her wits right now, and once she was let out of the carrier ran directly for the bed. This has been what every cat I've ever had has done. She has, however come out because small things have been moved, and last night I woke up hearing the distinctive sound of a kitty jumping up on top of things in my room.
I thought I was going to name her Eloise (as in Abelard and), but I got her home and something in my head said, "That's not her name." So she's gonna be named Brigid.
Also went to Petsmart yesterday to get all of the pet accoutrement and I went in with the resolution to not act like a dorky pet owner. Several catnip toys, bags of treats, and a cheap scratching post later.....I have decided it's ok to be a dorky pet owner. Pictures will be up as soon as she decides I'm not gonna eat her and will come out long enough for me to take them.
Peace, Love, and Tunes,
Mac.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Things turn around fast
So.....last weekend was possibly the most bipolar I've ever experienced. It started with the "No" from the Fulbright people (sad). Then I went and looked at pets (happy). Then worked on editing things all day and actually realizing that I was going to be in the US next year (sad). Then on Sunday night got an email from one of the grad schools I applied to (which I'll start referring to as Flagship U) saying, "You're in....by the way we want you to apply for this insanely good scholarship (ecstatic)." And I'm picking up my cat on Friday (different cat....who will soon have her picture taken and put up!).
I'm still waiting to hear back from other schools, because Flagship U was definitely not my first choice, but (if I get money) it certainly is a viable option--specifically because the scholarship they want me to apply for is to study Irish and would pay for school and give a *hefty* stipend to boot. The perfect scenario would be to get full rides from West Coast U and Northerly U and then I get to decide where I want to go based on something other than finances.
Let me just say this: "I don't do moving on well." One of the reasons I'm ready to be done with grad school is that I want to build relationships with people and not have to leave them after 4 years. I don't think I can really convey how much these people mean to me here. And while I'm incredibly excited about the future, because it looks as if I'll have options, I'm sad because I believe that this community of people, people who have become family, are extremely rare and I can only hope that I'll find people like them wherever I'm off to.
I get to pick up my cat tomorrow! Pictures to come.
Peace, Love, and Tunes,
Mac.
I'm still waiting to hear back from other schools, because Flagship U was definitely not my first choice, but (if I get money) it certainly is a viable option--specifically because the scholarship they want me to apply for is to study Irish and would pay for school and give a *hefty* stipend to boot. The perfect scenario would be to get full rides from West Coast U and Northerly U and then I get to decide where I want to go based on something other than finances.
Let me just say this: "I don't do moving on well." One of the reasons I'm ready to be done with grad school is that I want to build relationships with people and not have to leave them after 4 years. I don't think I can really convey how much these people mean to me here. And while I'm incredibly excited about the future, because it looks as if I'll have options, I'm sad because I believe that this community of people, people who have become family, are extremely rare and I can only hope that I'll find people like them wherever I'm off to.
I get to pick up my cat tomorrow! Pictures to come.
Peace, Love, and Tunes,
Mac.